DIXIE C JONES UNIT MANUAL
by Dixie C Jones
Summary: The Confederate States of America's unit manual!


Dixie C. Jones (The South): The Owner's Guide and Maintenance Manual

Hello! Flying Mint Bunny Incorporated is proud to present to you the newly remodeled DIXIE unit. This manual was created to insure you top performance from your unit. There are several easily accessible and user friendly sections in this manual including FAQ and Troubleshooting, which are located at the end. It is highly recommended that you read everything word for word, if you don't want a gun pointed at you.

Technical Specifications:

Name: Dixie C. Jones; however she also answers to: Dixie, CSA, and Confederacy(note: the last two will cause your unit to either start shouting or break down crying, depending on the mode and conversation.)

Birthdate: April 7th, though if you have an AMERICA unit, they will share a birthday.

Height: 5'4

Weight: none of your business

Size: none of your business.

Place of Manufacture: Richmond, Virginia

Your DIXIE unit Comes with the Following Items:

Confederate jacket

Tan military issue officer's uniform

Pair of black military issue boots

Pair of black military issue officers shoes

Pair of glasses

Civil War issued rifle

One (1) Confederate hat with the Stars and Stripes and one (1) confederate hat with the normal Confederate flag, depending where you live

Formal Dress

Cowgirl outfit

McDonald gift card

Programming:

Your DIXIE unit is equipped with the following traits:

Policeman: She, like her brother, likes to help people and is a really good shot. Good luck for the bad guys!

Bodyguard: Running from the mob? Afraid of the sharks? Well, fear no more, because DIXE is here! Making her feel your worth protecting is a completely different matter.

Government Official: With her wonderful speech skills, her charming grin, and her calculating nature, DIXIE is perfect for any government position. If you want to make her a diplomat, she also speaks several languages including Spanish, French, German, Russian, Italian, Japanese, and Mandarin Chinese.

Removal of your DIXIE from Packaging:

Your DIXIE unit is an easily annoyed, trigger happy girl, though, surprisingly, there are rarely any problems with waking her up. It is impossible to accidentally knock her into a dangerous mode when removing her from her package; the most you need to worry about is her threatening you, though she won't go though. Unless you're an AMERICA unit. In order to avoid that, we have provided you with a few ways that you can wake her carefully and get right to work on any reprogramming you might want to do!

1. Play the American national anthem, or any country song. Loudly. Your unit will respond immediately, singing along until the song is over.

2. If you have an AMERICA unit, just get him to yell for DIXIE to wake up. She will respond but telling him to shut up but won't threaten him. Usually.

3. Speak with a British accent, French, Spanish or in Russian. DIXIE will reply positively to the first one, mixed to the second and third ones, and a little coldly to the second, but she will get up anyway.

4. Cook a southern dish. She'll wake up and either, A) eat the food or B) lecture you on how to prepare it correctly.

Reprogramming

After successfully waking your DIXIE unit and getting her out of her box, you can reprogram her to any of the following modes:

Grumpy (default)

Trigger happy (default)

Hyper(default)

Horny

Cowardly

Mature (locked)

DIXIE comes in her default modes Grumpy, Trigger happy, and Hyper, which entail an attitude with mood whiplashes. In these three modes, DIXIE will tease/argue with practically every other unit, so be careful.

The Horny mode can be attained easily, by locking her in a room with a unit your DIXIE has shown interest in. Any relationships triggered by DIXIE being in her Horny mode are unlikely to last longer than one or two nights.

DIXIE'S Cowardly mode is just as simple to unlock as Horny, except this time you just make her watch a horror movie. Anything with suspense.

Her Mature mode can only be unlocked by accusing her or her brother of starting a war America participated in, and having actual detail to back your words up. Casualty statistics in wars the USA participated in or just making fun at the Civil War will also unlock her mode. In Mature, DIXIE is far more serious and icy than normal, and will react harshly to ENGLAND, AMERICA, PRUSSIA, RUSSIA, and GERMANY units, especially toward the last two; the only way to get her out of this mode is to let her overhear conversations between American citizens about how much they love their country.

Relationships with Other Units

CANADA: These two units are siblings and grew up together under FRANCE, and extremely close as a result. DIXIE and CANADA do have their rows, but they are few and far between.

AMERICA: These units are also siblings though they will fight a lot more often then CANADA and DIXIE do. Most, if not all, major fights are about the Civil War.

ENGLAND: ENGLAND raised DIXIE after FRANCE lost her to him. She cares for him as a brother, though will rarely call him such.

RUSSIA: Your unit hates RUSSIA but not as much as AMERICA.

FRANCE: FRANCE raised DIXIE. Your unit will call him Papa France... Until he decides to molest her or something.

SPAIN: SPAIN also raised DIXIE. She will call him Big Brother Spain.

ROMANO: These units grew up together under SPAIN. They don't really get along but will work together if push comes to shove.

Cleaning

DIXIE is perfectly capable of cleaning herself. If you try to do otherwise, be prepared to find a gun in your face.

Feeding

Your unit likes burgers, preferably from McDonald's because it's faster; if she's by trademark American burger joints (such as In-n-Out), she'll eat there instead of at Mickey-D's.

Rest

DIXIE hates scary movies and games. However, if you have an AMERICA unit, she will stay up with him and watch to prove she doesn't scare as easy as him. They'll play and play and play and will manage as long as they're not watching or playing Asian horror films. If she spends too much time watching Asian horror films in the dark, she'll eventually ruin her sleeping habits as she tries to brave it; as such, she might randomly pop into your room with a pillow and teddy bear, trying not to burst into tears as she asks to sleep with you. This should only happen twice before she gives up and stops watching those films.

FAQ

Q: My unit keeps shooting her guns at AMERICA, and I'm getting complaints from my neighbors! What do I do?

A: Just separate the siblings for the day, and it should be fine. If she continues to shoot, take away her guns. The last part won't work if you also own a SWITZERLAND. She'll just get more guns from him and point them at you.

Troubleshooting

Problem: You opened the box and found, instead of DIXIE, an DIXIE who looks about sixteen years old or so. She doesn't respond to you if you have a northern accent and glares off into the corner, drumming on the table with her fingernails and storming around the house. She also refuses to do anything you ask, if you have anything but a southern accent.

Solution: Oops! We've gone and sent you a War for CIVIL WAR!DIXIE. In this mode, she'll absolutely refuse to see AMERICA but will still like the presence of FRANCE and SPAIN. If you don't want her shouting at you for trying for holding her back, just call Customer Services and send her right back!

Problem: Your unit is twitching. Like massive shoulder jumps and neck snaps. She looks like she hasn't slept in ages, doesn't eat more than a few bites, and seems about to stab you with her toothbrush; she also looks over her shoulder every five seconds and mumbles to herself, and sometimes scratches at the inside of her forearm hissing about "those damn Commies".

Solution: Congrats! You've managed to unlock DIXIE's Paranoia mode! The way she acts was brought on by the McCarthy Witch Trials in the United States and the Cold War tension; how she gets into this mode is not yet known, but you can get him out of it by leaving her with a Grumpy ENGLAND or a Normal SPAIN unit for long enough. If she's left with AMERICA in this mode for long, AMERICA will also switch into this mode, same for the other way around.


End file.
